I’m really, really starting to hate the response I get when I call government offices. Every time I call, the answer I get from the people who—I assume—are switchboard operators is always the same, and for some reason I can never get through to the people I’m trying to reach. Either they’re stringing me along, or the people they connect me to aren’t at their desks.
This is what usually happens: At the government offices I manage to get through to with a thousand difficulties, the phone is usually answered by people I think are switchboard operators, whom I happen to catch by chance. I have to spend a long time explaining my problem to them. (Even though I don’t want to, their questions make me explain it all.) Then, in a completely illogical way, they say, “Hmm, sir, I’ll connect you to someone who can help with this. Please hold for a second.” While they’re connecting me to the person they mentioned, I start getting annoyed: “If you don’t know anything about this, why are you grilling me, man?” I mutter to myself. Meanwhile, the time it takes to connect me gets longer and longer, and I get even more annoyed. In the end, I can’t reach anyone. —And even if I do, the people I reach avoid giving me information and say, “You need to come here.” That raises the question, “Then why do you have phone numbers?”—and I don’t even want to get into that! Anyway, as I said, either they’re stringing me along, or the people they connect me to aren’t at their desks. Even when they are, they’re no help. The only thing that gets wasted is my time!
I hate calling those offices, but since I have to, I want a solution. So instead of complaining, I’d like to make a concrete, humble suggestion: Set up a unit called an “information line” in every department! These units, where calls would be recorded, could give citizens the information they need.
We’re Used to It—Are You?
As I watched the Fenerbahçe-Galatasaray match played the other day—which, for some reason, is the match of the century every time—I had the same thought the whole time: Now we’ll never hear the end of it from Fenerbahçe fans.
The first wave hit at home! My wife’s question—“Honey, I didn’t quite follow the match; it was 4–1 last I checked. What was the final score?”—heralded the familiar episode: “Here we go, Cem, same old syndrome—brace yourself.” I’m sure my dear fellow Galatasaray fans whose spouses support Fenerbahçe understand what I mean by “syndrome.” Luckily, before every Fenerbahçe-Galatasaray match, I come up with a sensible and logical line in my head. I did the same this time: in response to her question, these words came out in the spirit of fair play: “Honey, the score didn’t change. You won 4–1, congratulations; but you still haven’t got used to winning, have you? We’re used to losing! I just don’t understand all these celebrations.”
The second wave, as you might expect, hit at work! As I walked into the Star Medya Grubu News Center, just as I’d anticipated, Fenerbahçe-supporting friends like Alihan Pehlivan and Oğuz Karkar were eagerly waiting for me. After the taunts and so on, I think I weathered this ordeal too with the line I’d come up with for the match. And the whole thing was forgotten a day or two later. I probably don’t need to write out the replies I sent to the messages that came to my phone, either…
Anyway, as a Galatasaray fan, let me share the line I came up with about the latest match with all my Fenerbahçe-supporting friends, so we can put this to rest! (By the way, this line, which is practically a confession, should have enough coverage for the matches to come as well!) “Yes, my dear Fenerbahçe friends, we’re used to losing—but why haven’t you got used to winning? I just don’t understand all these cries of joy!”
Hope to see you on Thursday…
Please pay attention to your surroundings, and please be respectful in traffic.