He’ll have girlfriends!
He’ll recognize his girlfriend’s scent everywhere.
He’ll even get mad at other women, asking, “Why are you wearing my girlfriend’s perfume?”
I’m experiencing wonderful emotions these days. The conversations I’ve been having with my son, who is only 21 months old, about the sense organs he is just beginning to learn about are interesting and very exciting… I should also mention that I’ve always been amazed by children’s ability to communicate. With just a few words—or even before that, simply by crying—children can tell you what they want. My son is like that, too… Before, he would try to tell us what he wanted by crying; these days, he tries to tell us with the words he’s learned. He may know only a few words, but we understand very well what he wants or doesn’t want; or, rather, he somehow finds a way to tell us…
Anyway, back to the point! My son Berk Cem shows us the sense organs he learned about at preschool and where they are by pointing with his fingers in response to our questions, rather than telling us. He gets confused now and then, but for some reason, we find it endearing… For example, when we ask where his ears are, he sometimes gets confused and points to his nose. Fortunately, when we repeat the question with a slight smile on our faces, he gives the right answer… What we like best is when he points to his eyes. As he points to all the sense organs with his little fingers, when we ask about his eyes, he opens and closes those little eyelids again, giving us the impression that he’s saying, “I know all this—ask me something else.” It’s a different kind of feeling…
This morning, I did the same exercise with my son. We do these exercises every morning because I worry he’ll forget—as if he won’t be the one telling us what they’re for a few years from now… I suppose this is what being a parent means: everyone must worry about their children growing up as quickly as possible and learning everything all at once.
Lately, seeing him point to his nose has made me think about the memories he’ll form from the scents he’ll encounter as he grows up… For example, the smell of the delicious meals his mother makes will make him long for home when he’s at university. He’ll have girlfriends! He’ll recognize his girlfriend’s scent everywhere. He’ll even get mad at other women, asking, “Why are you wearing my girlfriend’s perfume?” Or he’ll miss his homeland when he catches different scents in faraway places. Then he’ll return home and breathe in the scent of his homeland, deep into his lungs… Just like me! The place I come from smells bad. It’s a place with heavy industry, where every time you breathe in the smell, you take different, perhaps harmful, chemicals into your body. But still, I have to admit that whenever I go back, I look for that smell in the streets of my homeland…
My fear these days is about this…
When my son misses the smell of his homeland, he’ll run after garbage trucks, saying, “Where are the sewer smells in our streets and/or that foul odor from the liquids spilling out of garbage trucks?” When he can’t find the smell, he’ll chase after other scents, but he won’t be able to find what he’s looking for… He won’t be able to say, “I’m home.”
Yes, perhaps I’m afraid my son will experience these things, but on the other hand, I want to be afraid. I don’t want my son to keep alive in his “scent memories” the smell of the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, his homeland—which is now mine too—as the smell of sewage in the streets and/or the liquids spilling from garbage trucks (because of the lack of infrastructure). That’s why I want to be afraid. Let it be; I don’t want my son to remember his homeland through this combination of foul smells and memories etched into his mind.
Am I wrong to want to be afraid?
I hope what I fear comes to pass…
Hope to see you on Tuesday…
Please pay attention to your surroundings, and please be courteous in traffic.