If you hadn't been there, how would we have known that Osama bin Laden was an international terrorist! Thanks to your ‘War on International Terrorism!’ the world became a more peaceful, safer place! But what happened to Osama bin Laden, Bush? Oh, never mind, whatever happened, happened… The world found peace and was cleansed of terrorism, and the Afghan people were ‘liberated’ too; they are living prosperous lives! It's all thanks to you! Long live Bush…!
If you hadn't been there, we would have had to come face to face with Iraq's weapons of mass destruction and live troubled, unhappy lives. Luckily, experts with advanced technology and intelligence! determined that weapons of mass destruction were in Iraq, and we were saved. Speaking of which, what happened to those weapons, Bush? Oh, never mind, whatever happened, happened… The world found peace, democracy came to Iraq, and everyone is very happy! It's all thanks to you! Long live Bush…!
If you hadn't been there, we would have carried on in ignorance, living unaware of the significance of places like Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo! Thanks to your vision and wisdom, what was done in those places cleansed the world of terrorism and prevented possible attacks! By the way, what happened to the dozens of innocent people subjected to torture in Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, Bush? Oh, never mind, whatever happened, happened… People thought to be likely to carry out terrorist acts one day were kept inside, and the world found peace! It's all thanks to you! Long live Bush…!
If you hadn't been there, in the final days of 2008 we would not have witnessed, ‘live on air,’ how Israel was killing Palestinian civilians. Without your leadership and the confidence you gave, Israel would not have been able to continue its massacre… Just as the UN and the world stayed silent when you launched the war on Iraq, we witnessed Israel's massacre being met with silence in the same way, all thanks to you. Thanks, too, for helping us realize this truth… But weren't you the one who got negotiations between Israel and Palestine started? What happened, Bush—why did you give up on peace in that region before leaving? Oh, never mind, whatever happened, happened… There is peace in the Middle East, a ceasefire has been achieved between Israel and Palestine; yes, civilians died, but now everyone is very happy! It's all thanks to you! Long live Bush…!
If you hadn't been there, we would never have witnessed a person being so successful at gaffes. And what about your fall from the ‘Ginger,’ which has an automatic balancing system and is almost impossible for a person to fall off? We know you did it to draw the world's attention to how problematic this product is, and we thank you. And let's not forget the ‘smart missiles!’ (Tomahawk), which are said to have been designed with your intelligence in mind. Even though they kept landing in the wrong places and kept killing civilians, they were an important step for global security! It's all thanks to you! Long live Bush…!
Hey, Bush, believe me, the world doesn't deserve a genius leader like you a second time!
Thanks to you, the world is free, the world has been cleansed of terrorism, chemical weapons no longer exist in the world, the world has achieved democracy, …!
We're fine…
Don't worry about us!
Please, don't worry!
Hoping to see you on Tuesday…
Pay attention to your surroundings, keep them clean, and please be courteous in traffic!